Love is the only way

There isn’t one person I know that has shown me any characteristics of Jesus this Christmas. I know I haven’t blogged in quite some time, however, part of self-discovery, and finding your journey, and your path, is learning about yourself.

My entire life, I have been the black sheep, different, mislead, and alienated, because I wouldn’t conform to what everyone else in the world thought was right for me. Now, I understand some of you that are reading this will completely 100% understand what the message is within this particular blog. And some of you will assume that I’m psychotic, and off my meds, and being noncompliant. I mean, why should you believe me? Why should you trust what I say is true? You don’t have to.

November 7 2022, was the day I found God. And I want to be clear,I haven’t found the God that all the Baptist preachers told me about, I haven’t found a God that all of the people in my life told me about. But I found God in my own way. If you pay attention, that is the only way.

Many of you have things and items and people in your life that you value. So let’s look at that word: value. I want you to ask yourself, “What/who do I value?” Now some of you will just disregard what I am saying right now, and it’s completely ok. I don’t expect you to understand my journey, as my journey is mine alone. I do not hold the responsibility or obligation to make you see what is true. Only you hold the answer to what is true to you.

Many people get married, start having kids, attend their Sunday gatherings, all while being blinded by things lined with gold and silver. I’ve never been religious, nor have I ever used religion to guide my way. I’m not saying there is anything wrong with how you choose to identify or believe, however, I can tell you, that we all have been lied to by governments, religious organizations, including the church, and we’ve been lied to about ourselves, and the power we hold. If for two seconds, you think all of the answers to life are in the Bible, you’re wrong, because the Bible is meant to be interpreted by each individual independently. Just think about it, when you read a book, versus watching a movie of a story, notice the difference in how it resonates. Ask yourself why.

The words you speak, and the words you say, and the words you write, are more powerful than what you think they are. I have done quite a bit of research of the etymology of words and the Bible, and I know the following to be true: following Jesus, isn’t something that’s tangible. Following Jesus means you search within your heart, your mind, and your soul for the answers to your life. Following Jesus is how you find yourself. And God.

God doesn’t hate homosexuals. God doesn’t try to sell you things you don’t need. God doesn’t put poison in your veins through the food you eat. You do that. You do that to yourself. God gave us free will to choose our paths. You see, when you’re not distracted by the preacher, telling you to give more money, or telling you to live a certain way, or you will be doomed and sent to hell, you learn to read between the lines. Not just in the Bible, but within yourself, the answer is in the silence. The answer is in the major aspects of personality within the soul. What traits am I talking about?

Let’s start with authenticity. First ask yourself what does it mean to you to be authentic? Do you know how to be real? And this goes back to analyzing your values and beliefs. If you find yourself, valuing something monetary over joy, and love, and gratitude, and compassion, and kindness, I can tell you that something isn’t right. Because Jesus was all of those things. Jesus was meant to be like. He was never meant to be worshiped. Want to challenge me on that? I want to go to your Bible right now and look up Revelation 19:10. Revelation 19:10 says, “And I fell at his feet to worship him. And he said unto me, See thou do it not! I am thy fellow servant, and of thy breathren that I have the testimony of Jesus. Worship God; for the testimony of Jesus is the spirit of prophecy.” Let that sink in.

This Christmas I have experienced things that I know I wouldn’t have experienced if I didn’t have God and Jesus(spirit) guiding me. I was given several adverse situation’s that I now know were lessons for my life. I’m not here to preach to you, or tell you how to live your life; however, I am here to make you aware and clear of things I know to be true.

My family has alienated me. I’ve been called a liar, I have been dismissed, and I have been judged. This includes family, friends, everyone on social media, and the lesson is now clear. The spirit of Jesus lies within you. A physical man is not coming back to save anybody. The spirit of Jesus that is ignited in your mind, body, and soul, when you align them correctly according to your values, beliefs, and passions. This is key.

At the beginning of this blog, I divulged my deepest and darkest secrets, and emptied my entire soul in order to heal from the trauma, I was subjected to. I had nothing left, no one beside me, and I somehow found my way. Hindsight is always 20/20 and I now know it was God leading me, and Jesus talking with me, to help me see the light. No one saved me, I saved myself. And for that very reason is why I survived.

Two days ago, God came to me and said, “I want you to do something that will bring you joy. I was alone with my dog and kitten, and he told me to check my checking account. So I did. I had $17.54. I immediately went to the Dollar Tree and purchased two baskets, and a few small toys for Oakley and my kitten Onyx. I hurried home, with $.14 left. When I gave Oakley and Onyx their Christmas presents, it brought tears to my eyes. It made me happier and brought me more joy than anybody I’ve known my entire life.

I put all belief in God to help me continue. He has provided for me up until this point, and I have faith that God will provide for me going forward. The main reason for this is because I know what value means to me, and I know what brings me, joy and happiness. I know I have someone with me, and I’m no longer alone. And I know that me telling you about my journey is something Jesus would do. He would spread the love, and the welcoming feeling you get when you walk in the room and it’s filled with compassion, and authenticity. When it’s filled with people, that aren’t fake, the feeling is different in a very good way, and I say that to say this, if you are one of those people that have made me feel inadequate and invalid, I want you to know you were no longer serving my life. You’re not genuine, you’re not real, you’re not true, you are fake. You are the liar. Because if you loved me, like Jesus does, you would embrace my words, and my journey as truth.

Christmas is not about getting a new PlayStation, fancy clothes, all of the things; Christmas is about what you give not what get. And not just Christmas, this applies to every day life. If you show love, and kindness, it will come back to you tenfold. What you put out, is what you will get back.

I might not have everything I want this Christmas, however, I have everything I need. My animals are healthy and fed. I am healthy and fed, and have shelter. I have clothes to put on my back, even though I’ve lost about 40 pounds and they don’t fit. I have books to read to grow my knowledge, and I have journals to fill my dreams and passions with. I don’t need anybody or anything that isn’t real in my life anymore. Now I can feel and see everything clearly.

The past month has definitely been a series of lessons, trials, and tribulations in my life, and now I know why. God has shown me who and what doesn’t deserve my presence or company anymore. I will no longer entertain the facade of the materialistic world. I will no longer listen to those who have tried to lead me a stray from being myself. I no longer have a place in my life as I did before for things and people that are not real. From now on, I choose how to live my life. I don’t have to show up to church on Wednesdays and Sundays to know God, and I don’t have to take the easy path because that’s what you think I should do. My journey is mine, and mine only.

With that being said, I hope everyone that is reading this experiences, joy, love, authenticity, gratitude, compassion, and kindness this Christmas Day , and if that’s not what you’re experiencing, maybe you need to take a look in the mirror. Maybe you are the one that needs to reevaluate what is going on with you. Because I now I am living my truth, with Jesus beside me, and he has shown me the way. Love is the only way.

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