You will forever be my always

As a kid, I used to love going and spending time with two of my cousins. Heather, Ashley, and myself were hell on wheels. I am the oldest of the three of us, and we used to have the best time. We loved making up dances, and playing outside. Some of our favorite things to do included things we weren’t supposed to do. Regardless, we had a blast. As we have gotten older, we grew apart quite a bit, but still maintained contact. My cousin Heather moved to North Carolina and works a lot, and Ashley works a lot too, but because she lives in Alabama, we were able to maintain more of a relationship. To say that she is my person would be an understatement. She is the person who makes an effort with me. She is the one that loves me without hesitation. She bares it all, and never distances herself from the depth of my emotions. Ashley believes in me, and my goodness. And when things are bad, she shows up. It doesn’t matter how steep the hill, or how deep the water, she is walking through it with me. Her intentions are so pure, and I couldn’t be more fortunate to have her as my person.

Ashley and I are complete opposites. I’m very social, and she would rather not talk to anyone for days. I am very chaotic and all over the place. Ashley is very prepared and everything is always so well thought out. She is the yin to my yang. We balance each other like the universe destined us to be together.

I have went through A LOT of things that I had no clue how I was going to make it out. Ashley was there, leading me, supporting me, and ultimately just being my best friend. She makes sure I’m ok at all times without passing judgement on my life or decisions. She listens without negative criticism, and tells me the truth even when I don’t want to hear it. I don’t know what I would do in this world without her.

As a child, I never had many friends. I was the odd-ball out for the most part. I struggled with relationships, and still do. I think it’s because I was/am so insecure with many aspects of my life. I’ve always been scared to lose people, and be abandoned, in turn, I’ve chose not to get too close to people. When I love you, I love so hard, with everything in my soul. I look past flaws and vices. I love you for you. I can count on one hand how many people I trust with my heart. Getting hurt and going through that whole process is harder than just saying “to hell with it,” and not love at all. This has been my life motto. And it’s not a healthy one. I’m working to change my mindset with this concept. I’m trying to stay close to people who feel like sunlight, and Ashley is the sun. Hands down, best person I know.

Ashley, I want you to know this: I love you more and more each day. I wish you could see yourself the way I see you. Because of you I laugh a little harder, cry a little less, and smile a lot more than that. And when you’re going through stuff, I can’t always stop the downpour, but I will always be with you to walk in the rain. Just like how you sit with me in the darkness on my worst days. You pull the magic out of me. I hit the BFF jackpot for sure. You have helped me find two things I lost; hope and courage, and I’ll never be able to repay you for the healing you kickstarted in my life. One day, we are going to have the world, or at least the beach. We deserve it. You will forever be my always. I love you.

Me and Ashley Panama City 2022

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