Just a chapter, not the whole book


Mental health is something that I’ve struggled with since before I can remember. It always comes at the awfullest times. How it starts is with one thing begins to go well, and you think your life is getting back on track. All of a sudden, something major happens, and it affects your whole, comprehensive direction.

It’s so hard sometimes to just accept the things that you’ve done wrong in your life, the mistakes, and especially the things you’re not proud of. What does it take for you to get raw with yourself? I can tell you I was pretty stubborn and I’m pretty hardheaded, and just now hitting rock-bottom. When you are about to lose everything you know life to be, all you can do is continue to push. Hustle. Grind. Do something about it. Because if you do nothing, you’re giving up. Plain and simple. You are letting the enemy win. And they own you. After the own you, it controls you. Your mental health is EXACTLY that. YOUR mental health. Own it.

Yesterday, was bad news. I had a really rough day. Emotions all over the place, bipolar tendencies, making impulsive decisions, not thinking things through. I spent the day crying and feeling sorry for myself, and begging somebody to help me. Yesterday I learned that if ‘I’ don’t have my back, neither does anyone else. I made an agreement with myself last night. I said to myself, “Casi Nicole, you will get up at 6 AM, and go grind. Go hustle my ass off. Because it is time for ME to have my own back. If it doesn’t challenge you, it doesn’t change you. This is solely up to me. If it doesn’t end, it’s because I have allowed it to continue. Yesterday was bad news, today I’m on the front page.

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