I made it out

I made it out. I stepped down from the enlarged pillar I had climbed to end my life. I saw my dog, Oakley, on the ground, and couldn’t stand the thought of him being alone and lost, like I felt. He needed me. He was the only one, but he needed me and I couldn’t just leave him, so I stepped down.

The stone pillar at Little River Canyon in Fort Payne, AL

I got Oakley back into the car and I sat in the drivers seat and just cried the loudest cry. I am so hurt. I felt abandoned and disposed. I felt like no one wanted me, and I had no place in this world. It’s a feeling only one can describe if they have walked through severe depression and trauma. I couldn’t expect anyone to fully understand.

Oakley and I drove back to the AirBnB, gathered all of my belongings, and hit the road again. Where were we going? Who knows. But Fort Payne, AL was not where I needed to be. I know I needed a support system. Someone to help me through this. But who? Who was there to help me pick up all of these shattered pieces of me? I couldn’t think of anyone that hasn’t already tried. I wept as I tried to think of one, single positive thing I could do to slightly bring me out of this dark hole thinking I was circling. Finally, I put my car in drive, and headed to Rome, GA. Not because this was where I needed to be, but I knew I could find a park there and me and Oakley could hang out and I could watch him play until I figured out what to do.

Driving through Cedar Bluff, AL to Rome, GA

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